she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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