ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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