Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
