i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
