i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
