I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
