WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
