At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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