Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
