There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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