I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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