He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
