I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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