I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just google imaged poop.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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