my mouth tastes like poor choices
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
