and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Im part way to drunk.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
