well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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