i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Holy sore nipples Batman
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
