I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
