Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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