Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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