come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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