To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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