i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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