Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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