That's intense
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
