I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
