OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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