I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
