Welp...herpes.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just want to make out with him forever
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
