so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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