3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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