I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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