i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
