can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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