im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
