how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
