What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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