It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
