Jerry, you need to find god
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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