omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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