Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
