I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
In America we eat man semen.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize