I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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