yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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