Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
