So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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