girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
