apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
