Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
