your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
