Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
ttyl tear gas
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
