I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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