Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
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Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
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I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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