hotel room ftw
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize