Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
