Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
