1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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