and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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