did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
