Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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