I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
