i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
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I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.