I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.