i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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