Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
