you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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