Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
